Parenting is tough. Most of us don’t know what we are doing, most of us are figuring things out through trial and error.
I don’t know everything. What I do may not be correct. All I hope for is to make it easier for others on this parenting journey by sharing my own trials and errors so that others can take reference and decide for themselves whether they want to try or sit it out.
If maturity in parenting is accumulated through experience, surely learning through the experience of others would be beneficial. If children are the citizens of the world, even just one more child raised in a respectful manner that allows him to be the best that he could be, would make all the difference.
No, I’m not worried at all that other children will excel and do better than my daughter. Because seriously… who would think that way. It boggles my mind. They are all children of the world. They deserve to be loved and nurtured in the best way possible whether they are my own or not. Talent and goodness does not have any limits. Just because someone has a lot of talent doesn’t mean that my daughter will have less of it. My God is a limitless God and our children can all be wonderful, in their own unique ways.
If you happen to have this mindset of keeping everything to yourself so that other children will not outperform your child, please be reminded that your children will model what you do. If you don’t want them to be selfish, don’t have a selfish mindset. You may not say it outrightly or be selfish in obvious ways, but your petty thinking will permeate in little ways through the innumerable moments in life. I don’t know why this came up but I thought I should mention it. If you don’t mind them being selfish, be prepared that one day, this trait will backfire on you.
Other parents who have generously shared their real life on IG Stories have also helped me a great deal. It helped when I could see that their house wasn’t spotless like in the perfect little squares. I was elated when I saw that there were piles of laundry in the background of the stories. It’s not just me! IG stories seem more real because instead of capturing that one millisecond of sometimes carefully staged moments, it’s made up of several 15 second segments of a family’s life. That’s a little more difficult to stage. When I saw that their children were messy when eating by themselves, it helped me to let go of this idea of perfectly well behaved children eating on their own that was put into my mind by the photos I saw on Instagram. It’s my way of returning this favour, of having the honour to have had a peek into their real lives. That’s why I make it a point not to tidy things up before I take any videos. 😜
There’s so much advice out there and many of them are conflicting. I just want to state that it is perfectly ok to try a myriad but do always observe and see if it works for your child. It is important to tailor any advice or style of parenting you wish to try according to your own beliefs and circumstances. The same set of principles can look very different when applied for different parents and even different children in the same family. You can be fixated on a method such as Cry It Out for the result of a goodnight’s rest but if you are not able to come to terms with hearing your child cry for an extended period of time, it will never work no matter how much you want that night of uninterrupted sleep.